The Pointless Minimalist Meeting Terms of Service

These terms of service are not actually a real thing. But if they were:

Article 1: Purpose of Meetings

Meetings are held for the sake of having meetings, because someone in charge said so. This is a fact.

Article 2: Meeting Etiquette

Please do not eat the free donuts. They are not for you. They are for the meeting facilitator, who is secretly a donut aficionado.

Do not make eye contact with your colleagues, as this may be misinterpreted as "friendliness".

Article 3: Cancellation Policy

The Pointless Minimalist Meeting Terms of Service

These terms of service are a work in progress. But for now, let's pretend they are real.

Article 1: The Purpose of Meetings (Or, Why Bother?)

Meetings are held because someone, somewhere, decided that they would be a good use of time and resources. Or not.

We're not really sure.

Article 2: Meeting Etiquette for the Clumsy

Please, for the love of all that is good, do not eat the free donuts. They are for the meeting facilitator, who will likely just end up eating them all by themselves.

If you must make eye contact with your colleagues, do not overdo it. We're all here for the free coffee, not for the soul-crushing eye contact.

Article 3: The Cancellation Policy (Or, How to Get Out of This Mess)

We'll cancel a meeting if someone cancels it. But only if it's not too late, and you're not too busy, and it's not too inconvenient, and... well, just go with it, okay?

But seriously, we'll try our best. Unless it's a holiday. Or a Friday. Or a Monday. Okay, fine. Just don't ask us, we're not really sure.