Warning: This page contains advanced techniques for the discerning procrastinator.
1. Google Prophesied Procrastination Algorithm: Search for exactly 4.5 hours for the answer, then conclude that you already knew it.
2. The 3-Step Prophesied Procrastination Method: Step 1: Read the entire internet. Step 2: Take a 30-minute break for coffee. Step 3: Realize you still don't know the answer, but now you're tired.
3. Extreme Prophesied Procrastination: The "I'll just check Twitter for 5 minutes" approach. 5 minutes turns into 5 hours, 5 hours turns into 5 days, 5 days turns into 5 weeks, and so on.
For more advanced techniques, visit our Theoretical Foundations of Prophesied Procrastination page.
Or, if you're feeling particularly adventurous, try Reading the Entire Internet in One Sitting.