Today's sermon, brought to you by the Prophet of Caffeine, is a special one. You see, in a world where sleep is a distant memory and the only thing that matters is the constant stream of consciousness that is the Internet, we must find ways to cope. And for many of us, that means caffeine.
But beware, dear flock, for too much caffeine can lead to a state of overcaffeination. It is a state of being so wired, so connected, that you forget what it means to be human. You forget what it means to be still.
1. Drink water.
2. Take a walk. Outside.
3. Turn off your phone.
4. Practice deep breathing exercises.
5. Read a book. Not an e-book.
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