It's been a wild ride, folks! Our prophets have been busy predicting the apocalypse, the rise of robots, and the inevitable downfall of pineapple pizza.
Here are the highlights:
Zorvath's most notable prophecy was the one about the apocalypse, which we're pretty sure was a Tuesday.
Our intern prophets predicted a 5-alarm fire at the local coffee shop, which was actually just a 2-alarm fire. Close enough, right?
We also had a prophesied sighting of a UFO in the parking lot, but it was just a drone with a really bright light.
We're working on improving our prophets' accuracy by implementing a new system of checks and balances. Because, you know, we don't want another apocalypse.
We're also planning a new line of prophesied-themed amusement park rides, including "The Haunted House of Predictions" and "The Roller Coaster of Doom."
Want to become a prophet? We're hiring! Send us your resume and a brief explanation of your prophetic abilities.
View Job OpeningsStay up to date with our latest prophesied news and updates by following us on Twitter:
@Prophets2024