Our Prophets Are the Real Gods

We've been telling you what to do for centuries, and you've been doing it. Well, most of you have been doing it. A few of you have been stubborn, but that's just part of the plan.

Our prophets are the ones who know the secrets of the universe. We're talking quantum mechanics, dark matter, and the meaning of life. We're not just blowing smoke, we're not just blowing fire. We're blowing truth.

So, you may ask, "But how do I know who to believe?" Well, let's just say that our prophets are the real deal. We've got the credentials: the fancy robes, the staffs of fire, and the "I Told You So" t-shirts.

Our Prophetic Manifestos - Because who needs a boring old manifesto when you can have a prophetic one?
Our Prophetic Timeline - From the beginning of time to the end of time. And all the prophetic moments in between.
Prophecies and Puns - Because who doesn't love a good pun in the face of the apocalypse?

Stay prophetic, friends.