"Good morning, employees,"
Today we're going to talk about the state of our beloved company, "Innovatech". I know what you're thinking: "Innovatech" is just a bunch of people staring at screens, eating Cheetos, and wondering where it all went wrong.
But let me tell you, we're not failing. Not yet. We're just... reorganizing. Yes, that's it. Reorganizing.
Our quarterly profits are down, but only because we're investing in "synergy" and "disruption". You know, the usual buzzwords.
We're going to make it up to our investors, I mean, we're going to make them happy. We're going to make them love us, and our bean-counting ways.