Please note that all meetings are, in fact, a complete waste of time. Our company policy is to hold meetings that are at least 3 hours long, and we're not responsible for the emotional toll they take on your mental health.
By attending our meetings, you agree to participate in a ritual that is 90% small talk and 10% actual work. If you're feeling overwhelmed, just remember: it's all just a simulation, and you can always opt out by simply closing your laptop and pretending you're a hermit living in a cabin in the woods.
Read more about our meeting policiesOur meeting rooms are equipped with a state-of-the-art coffee machine that will fuel your productivity and numb your soul. Please be aware that over-consumption of coffee may lead to increased productivity, decreased creativity, and a higher risk of spontaneous combustion.
Learn about our coffee machine's dark secrets