We are gathered here today to address the pressing issue of the ketchup shortage that has plagued our nation for months. The lack of ketchup has led to widespread panic, with some citizens taking to the streets in protest.
The subcommittee has been tasked with finding a solution to this problem. Our research suggests that the root cause is not just a simple supply chain issue, but an existential one.
We propose a radical solution: we will be introducing a new, sustainable, and locally-sourced ketchup alternative. Behold, the "Ketchup 2.0"!
Learn more about our revolutionary new ketchup. Take our ketchup shortage survey and help us understand the impact of the ketchup drought. View our ketchup shortage statistics page for the latest data.