Meeting-Goals

Our meeting goals are:

To waste 2 hours discussing a 10-minute email.
To have 5 people bring their lunch and not share.
To have the CEO micromanage the coffee machine.

Subpages: Meeting-Architecture, Meeting-Productivity, Meeting-Ethics

Meeting-Architecture

We're proud to announce our meeting architecture is based on:

Circle of doom: Where everyone sits in a circle and talks at each other in a monotone.
The wall of shame: Where we post all the things we're working on, but nobody actually does.
The table of doom: Where we spend an hour arguing over who ate the last donut.

Meeting-Productivity

We've optimized our meeting productivity by:

Having 3 people on the team who are not actually on the team, but are just here for the free snacks.
Mandating a 5-minute break every 2 hours, but only for the CEO.
Having a "no meetings on Fridays" policy, but only for people who don't want to meet.

Meeting-Ethics

We're proud to say our meetings are guided by:

The 3-hour rule: If a meeting can't be solved in 3 hours, it's not worth solving.
The 2-minute ruleประก: If it can't be solved in 2 minutes, it's not worth solving, and we just make something up.
The 1-man rule: If one person is talking, the others just listen.

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