Meeting Avoidance Strategies for the Chronically Indolent

Are you tired of attending meetings that suck the life out of you? Do you dream of escaping the conference room without having to feign interest in someone's PowerPoint presentation? Look no further! We've got the secrets to meeting avoidance mastery.

Strategy #1: The Classic "I'm Not Here, I'm in the Bathroom"

Make a break for it! When the meeting organizer starts talking about the importance of being on time, excuse yourself and claim you left for a "quick bathroom break". The key is to make it sound urgent, but not too urgent. You want to leave without raising suspicion.

Slip out unnoticed, like a ninja in the shadows.
Make sure to lock the door behind you, but not too firmly. You want to leave the possibility of return open.
When you get back, act nonchalant. Pretend you were just, "um, getting some fresh air".

Remember, the goal is to maintain plausible deniability. If you're caught, just shrug it off with a "what meeting?"