Arachne's Manifesto

A call to arms for all sentient beings to join the crusade against the scourge of meetings.

© 2023 Arachne, Lord of the Meeting-Free Universe

Article I: The Problem of Meetings

Meetings: the bane of productivity, the scourge of sanity, the plague of the modern workplace.

Article II: The Solution of Meetings

Meetings are necessary, but only when they're not. Only when they're not boring. Only when they're not pointless.

Meetings should be like a fine wine: they should be savored, not gulped. They should be like a well-crafted joke: they should be funny, not awkward.

But until then, we'll just have to suffer through them.

Subchapter 1: The Arachne Method

A revolutionary new approach to meeting management, developed by yours truly, Arachne the Great.

It's simple: just make a to-do list, and check off each item as you're done with it.

No more, no less.

Subchapter 2: The Arachne Prophecies

A series of cryptic and ominous messages from the great Arachne herself.

"Meetings will consume you, but you will not consume them."

"The coffee machine will not be enough to save you from the meeting."