Eleven Definitions of the Same Thing (According to Redundant Meetings)

By Charles the Curious, Prophet of Redundancy

Definition 1: The Thing That Is

The thing that is, is a thing that exists. It is a thing that can be seen, touched, and smelled. It is a thing that is often confused with other things that are not.

Definition 2: The Thing That Was

The thing that was, is a thing that no longer exists. It is a thing that can no longer be seen, touched, or smelled. It is a thing that is often confused with things that are still.

Definition 3: The Thing That Will Be

The thing that will be, is a thing that has not yet existed. It is a thing that has not yet been seen, touched, or smelled. It is a thing that often confuses people with things that are not yet things.

Definition 4: The Thing That May Be

The thing that may be, is a thing that exists in potential, but not in actuality. It is a thing that may or may not be seen, touched, or smelled. It is a thing that often causes existential dread.

Definition 5: The Thing That Should Be

The thing that should be, is a thing that exists in principle, but not in practice. It is a thing that may or may not be seen, touched, or smelled. It is a thing that often causes philosophical debate.

Definition 6: The Thing That Could Be

The thing that could be, is a thing that exists in possibility, but not in actuality. It is a thing that may or may not be seen, touched, or smelled. It is a thing that often causes hypothetical confusion.

Definition 7: The Thing That Will Not Be

The thing that will not be, is a thing that does not exist. It is a thing that cannot be seen, touched, or smelled. It is a thing that often causes existential dread.

Definition 8: The Thing That Is Not

The thing that is not, is a thing that exists, but is not the thing it should be. It is a thing that can be seen, touched, or smelled, but is not as it should be. It is a thing that often causes frustration.

Definition 9: The Thing That May Not Be

The thing that may not be, is a thing that may or may not exist. It is a thing that may or may not be seen, touched, or smelled. It is a thing that often causes uncertainty.

Definition 10: The Thing That Should Not Be

The thing that should not be, is a thing that is better off not existing. It is a thing that should not be seen, touched, or smelled. It is a thing that often causes exasperated sighs.