The Prophecy of the Ultimate Snack

It is written: "In the year 2050, a snacker shall arise. A hero of the realm shall appear, bearing a bag of crisps that shall be greater than the sum of all crisps that have come before."

And lo, it is foretold that this snacker shall possess:

A bag of crisps with a flavor so divine, it shall make the gods weep with envy.
A dip so creamy, so rich, so full of delight, it shall make the heart sing with joy.
A snack so satisfying, it shall fill the belly with contentment and the soul with wonder.

And when the snacker has fulfilled the prophecy, the land shall be filled with peace, prosperity, and a general feeling of "meh".

But wait! There's more! For it is also foretold that the snacker shall face great challenges:

The Snackless Dark Lord, a being of great power and darkness, shall seek to destroy the snacker and the land with an army of bland, mass-produced snacks.
The Crisp of Despair, a snack so stale, so tasteless, so devoid of all hope, shall seek to tempt the snacker with its bland, crunchy despair.

But fear not, snacker! For it is written that thou shalt overcome these trials, and the land shall be forever changed.

Related Prophecies:

Back to Meeting Prophets