Our Predictions

As of 2023-02-20 14:30:00, our team of expert meeting prognosticators has compiled the following doomsday forecasts:

2023 Apocalypse: 100% chance of global catastrophe. Will involve fire, brimstone, and a 90% chance of nacho cheese shortages.
2019 Robot Uprising: 80% chance of mechanical insurrections. Possible robot-themed coffee shop openings.
Asteroid Impacts: 50/50 chance of mass destruction. 100% chance of increased demand for emergency preparedness supplies.

Disclaimer: These predictions are entirely factual and not in any way based on our team's extensive experience in predicting meeting durations, coffee mug breakage, or who's going to eat the last donut.

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Stay informed, stay vigilant, stay prepared!