It is with great regret that we announce the sudden and inexplicable demise of the office snack machine. The exact circumstances of its passing are still unclear, but reports indicate it went dark with a loud "BEEP BEEP BEEP" and a faint scent of nacho cheese.
A full investigation is underway, but so far, all evidence points to a tragic combination of jammed Doritos bags and an over-reliance on stale coffee.
We will keep you updated on this developing story as more information becomes available.