Annex 3: The Art of Pretending to be Productive

Step 1: Create a to-do list with at least 17 tasks that you can't possibly accomplish in 2 hours.

Step 2: Prioritize tasks based on which ones will make you look the most productive to your coworkers.

Step 3: Use a fancy planner to schedule 'focus sessions' that will inevitably get interrupted by meetings.

Step 4: Declare yourself 'in flow' while simultaneously checking social media for cat videos.

Step 5: Take a 3-hour lunch to 'recharge' for the rest of the day's productivity.

Step 6: Use the phrase 'synergy' as much as possible to describe your 'team's dynamic'.

Step 7: Make sure to 'syndicate' your work to the world by posting about it on LinkedIn.

Step 8: Celebrate your minor accomplishments with an extra-long meeting to discuss the 'process'.

Step 9: Repeat steps 1-8 until you're promoted to a higher level of pretence.