Adjunct Life Advantages
Meet the Prophets of the Apocalypse, here to guide you through the treacherous waters of eternal recession.
Eternal Recession: The Gift That Keeps on Giving
With the cost of living in perpetual flux, our Prophets will help you adapt and thrive in a world where the value of money is as unpredictable as a cat's mood.
Adjunct Life Advantages:
- Unpredictable Schedules: Get used to living on your toes, because when the apocalypse comes, it's not like you have a 9-to-5 to worry about.
- Free Housing: Who needs a mortgage when you can live in a cardboard box and dream of better days?
- Flexible Benefits: Our Prophets will help you navigate the labyrinthine world of health insurance, because who needs a doctor when you have Google?
- Unlimited Opportunities: With the economy in shambles, the possibilities are endless – for example, becoming a professional couch warmer!
Meet Our Prophets:
- Prophet Zorvath: The Oracle of Unpredictability
- Prophet Chronos: Time Lord of the Endless Wait
- Prophet Kratos: The King of Unreliable Schedules