According to our esteemed Prophets, the Apocalypse shall arrive in 3 days, 14 hours, and 32 minutes. But don't worry, it'll probably be delayed. Again.
**Critical Details:**
Get the full, unabbreviated forecast here (if you can handle the truth).
**Side Effects of the Apocalypse:**
Learn more about the impending doom
**Prophet's Contact Info:**
Our Prophet's contact info
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