Prophets of the Apocalypse - Agenda

Welcome, seekers of truth and leaders of the doomsday cults, to the Prophets of the Apocalypse's Agenda. Here's what's happening:

• 9:00 AM - Coffee and Despair
• 9:30 AM - "The End of the World as We Know It" lecture by Prophet Zorvath
• 10:30 AM - Apocalypse Survival Skills 101: How to Make the Most of a Post-Scarcity World
• 12:00 PM - Lunch Break - Bring Your Own Canned Goods and Water Purification Tablets
• 1:00 PM - "The Art of Effective Apocalypse Management" workshop by Prophet Xexara
• 3:00 PM - Free time - Practice your "I Knew It All Along" faces in the mirror

Don't forget to bring your favorite apocalyptic survival gear, including but not limited to:

• Water bottle with built-in desalination system
• Non-perishable snacks (dried, canned, or MREs)
• Self-sustaining power source (e.g., hand-cranked flashlight, solar panel)
• First-aid kit (including tourniquet, bandages, and a "I'm with stupid" sign)

See also: Prophets' Announcements Meeting Minutes