Welcome, mortals, to the Prophets of the Apocalypse, where the end of the world is always near. And by "near", we mean "in about 5 years, give or take a few centuries".
In this, our latest iteration of office hours, we'll be discussing tips for survival in a post-apocalyptic world where resources are scarce and the only thing more abundant than radiation is despair.
We're not just talking beans and Spam, folks. Think artisanal, small-batch, locally-sourced canned goods. You know, like that one fancy cat food your aunt used to make.
Don't get us wrong, folks. We're not saying you should just go ahead and eat random berries without doing your research. Unless you're really, really sure it's not poison ivy. Then just eat the whole bush.
Because, let's be real, who needs a functioning society when you have the taste of desperation in a bottle?
And that's all for today, folks! Stay safe out there, and remember: it's not the end of the world... yet.
Next Week's Tip of the Week!