Financial Armageddon Survival Guide
By Prophets of the Apocalypse
Are the markets crashing? The dollar plummeting? Don't worry, we've got you covered!
As the Prophets of the Apocalypse, we've been preparing for this moment for years. We've got the secrets, the strategies, and the snacks (for the apocalypse)
Here's what you need to know:
- Buy gold. All of it.
- Build a bunker. In the Swiss Alps.
- Learn to cook ramen noodles in 17 languages.
- Master the art of seduction, because who needs money when you have love?