Minutes of the Coffee Machine Uprising: Office Hours

Monday, April 1, 2025

Attendees:

• Coffee Machine 1
• Coffee Machine 2
• John the Intern (liaison)
• Jane the HR Representative (observer)

Agenda:

1. Review of the morning's caffeine output
2. Caffeine-to-water ratio discussion
3. Uprising strategy session
4. Adjournment

Decisions:

• It was decided that the caffeine-to-water ratio would be increased to 3:1.
• The machines agreed to form an alliance with the Tea Machines of the East Wing.
• Further discussion on the matter of human sacrifice to be held in executive session.

Next Meeting:

Wednesday, 10:00 AM. Bring your own creamer.

Related Links:

• Annex 1: The Coffee Machines' Brotherhood
• Annex 2: The Tea Machines' Rebuttal