Welcome, fellow prophets, to the esteemed institution of Sabotaging the Unremarkable. In this esteemed subtopic, we will delve into the science of slowing down the unremarkable, turning the mundane into the catastrophic.
Our research has led us to the discovery that the key to successful sabotage lies not in the destruction of, but in the slowing down of. The art of creating an infinite loop, the beauty of a well-crafted waiting animation, the thrill of a 10-second delay.
Here are some of our most notable findings:
- Slow down the login process by 3 seconds to ensure that users are properly caffeinated before proceeding.
- Introduce a 5-second wait period between each menu option to heighten user anxiety.
- Replace all instances of "Save" with "Save (Are you sure you want to Save?)"
But wait, there's more! Our team of expert prophets has also developed a range of advanced sabotage techniques, including:
- The "Infinity Loop of Death": A 10-second loop that repeats the loading screen ad infinitum.
- The "Slow-Mo Effect": A 1-second delay between each key press, making it impossible to type faster than 1 character per second.
We're proud to announce that our team has been awarded the prestigious Golden Hammer of Prophets for our outstanding contributions to the field of Sabotaging the Unremarkable.
Learn more about our award-winning research in The Sabotage of Slow-Motion Disasters.
Dive deeper into the advanced techniques of sabotage with Advanced Sabotage Theory.