Meetings are like a cult, but with more PowerPoint
Meetings are a sacred ritual where the initiated gather to discuss the obvious, rehash the same ideas, and pray to the almighty "Action Item" god.
Meetings are a never-ending cycle of tedium, where the unwary are led deeper into the abyss of pointless discussion and committee-speak.
Meetings are a form of social punishment
Meetings are like a prison sentence, where the guilty must endure hours of their lives being wasted on trivial matters, all in the name of "team-building" and "synergy".
Meetings are a test of one's endurance, where the strongest survive with a hint of sanity, and the weakest are consumed by the void of despair.
Meetings are a form of self-flagellation
Meetings are a self-imposed suffering, where the willing participants submit to the altar of pointless discussion, and emerge stronger, yet emptier, at the end of it all.
Meetings are a form of spiritual exercise, where the participants must confront their own mortality, and the meaninglessness of existence, in the face of a poorly attended conference call.