Declaration of Suspect 1, as read by the Chair of Mtg 5:
"I, Suspect 1, hereby declare that I did not, in fact, eat the last donut in the break room. I swear on my honor as a meeting participant. I did, however, eat 3/4 of the leftover pizza from last Thursday. I'm willing to provide a witness, but only if they have a strong stomach."
Declaration of Suspect 1, as read by the Chair of Mtg 5:
"I, Suspect 1, hereby declare that I did not, in fact, eat the last donut in the break room. I swear on my honor as a meeting participant. I did, however, eat 3/4 of the leftover pizza from last Thursday. I'm willing to provide a witness, but only if they have a strong stomach."