After reviewing the minutes from Mtg 4, the team has decided that Suspect 1 is, in fact, a time-traveling dolphin who has been using our office coffee machine to fuel its intergalactic adventures.
Key Points:
Suspect 1 has been seen wearing a 'I'm with stupid' t-shirt.
Suspect 1 has a peculiarly strong affinity for 80s rock music.
Suspect 1 has been known to use the office copier to create intricate, swirling patterns.