The great prophet, clad in a cloak of glory, stood tall atop a mountain of paperwork. "The time of reckoning draws near," he cried out to the gathered masses.
His eyes blazed with an inner fire, as he revealed the secrets of the ages.
But, alas, the coffee machine in the corner was on the fritz, and the donuts were stale.
Read the Apocryphal Appendix for more on the Prophet's revelations.
See the sequel: Prophetic Meeting of the Century 2