Quantifying the Soul-Killing

The Meetings That Never End

Are you tired of meetings that never actually accomplish anything? Do you yearn for a quantifiable measure of soul-sucking monotony?

We've got just the tool for you! Introducing "Soul-Kill-O-Meter," a patented system for measuring the exact amount of soul-killing that occurs during your meeting.

Simply input the following variables:

• Number of minutes spent discussing "synergy"
• Number of times someone says "hashtag innovation"
• Number of minutes spent on "dissecting" the company's "mission statement"
• Number of times someone checks their phone during the meeting

And we'll give you a precise calculation of the amount of soul-killing that has occurred. It's like a report card for your meetings!