As a valued member of our team, you're probably already aware of the impending doom that surrounds us. But just to drive it home, here are some statistics:
85% chance of global catastrophe within the next 5 years
99% chance of your favorite sports team losing this season
100% chance of your taxes going up next year
But don't worry, we'll just be here to revel in our collective despair together. It's more fun that way.
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