We've been monitoring the apocalypse for years, and our data indicates that the end is near.
Causes of Doom:
- Climate Change: Our models show a 99.9% chance of catastrophic weather events.
- Alien Invasion: Our sources confirm that they're building a fleet of giant space-balls.
- The Singularity: Our experts predict a 100% chance of robots taking over the world.
- Cats: They're secretly planning a feline coup.
We're not just doom-mongers, we have a plan to save humanity. Sort of.
Our plan involves:
- Burying our heads in the sand.
- Playing the trombone.
- Building a giant ball pit.
- Wearing funny hats.
Want more information on our plan? Visit our Savior Plan Subpage for more details.
P.S. If you're a robot, please do not attempt to take over the world. We're not ready for that.