Technique 1: The Art of Procrastination
Developed in the dark ages, this ancient technique involved staring intensely at a blank wall for hours on end, perfecting the art of doing nothing.
Key principles include:
- Develop an intense focus on the wall's texture.
- Train yourself to recognize the subtle variations in the wall's color tone.
- Practice the art of mentally rearranging the wall's pattern.
Technique 2: The Ancient Art of Overthinking
This ancient technique was perfected by our ancestors who spent hours deliberating over the meaning of life, the universe, and everything.
Key principles include:
- Engage in an internal monologue of catastrophic thinking.
- Convince yourself that every decision is life or death.
- Develop a crippling fear of making the wrong choice.
Technique 3: The Lost Art of Bureaucracy
This ancient technique was mastered by our ancestors who perfected the art of filling out forms in triplicate, just in case.
Key principles include:
- Filling out every field, no matter how irrelevant or redundant it may be.
- Requiring multiple signatures, just to be sure.
- Using the phrase "As per procedure" at every opportunity.