Our Modern Methods

A Study on the Futility of Human Interaction

Our modern methods are, of course, superior to those of our ancestors. We have more meetings, more reports, and more ways to express our displeasure with one another. And so, here are a few examples of our most effective techniques:

Technique 1: The PowerPoint Presentation

A 500-slide behemoth of bullet points and charts. Guaranteed to put your audience to sleep in under 30 minutes.

Technique 2: The Email Thread of Doom

A carefully crafted series of 50+ messages, each one more confusing and contradictory than the last. Ensures that even the most straightforward question will be answered in 10+ responses.

Technique 3: The Meeting That Never Ends

Where we take the concept of "meeting" and apply it to every possible aspect of human interaction. Ensures that even the most minor of decisions will take weeks to finalize.