Technique 3: The Meeting That Never Ends

Meetings: the bane of productivity. Or are they?

Technique 3: The Meeting That Never Ends is our latest innovation in meeting technology. This technique is guaranteed to drain the life out of your coworkers' souls in record time.

Here's a step-by-step guide:

1. Step 1: Set up the meeting at 3:00 AM. This will give everyone ample time to prepare for the meeting, and will ensure that everyone is well-rested and ready to be bored out of their minds.
2. Step 2: Invite every single person in the company. This will ensure that the meeting is a social event, and will give everyone the opportunity to make awkward small talk with people they barely know.
3. Step 3: Discuss the same topic for 12 hours straight. This will give everyone a chance to rehash the same ideas, rephrase the same points, and re-agree on the same decisions.
4. Step 4: Take 30-minute breaks every hour to grab a snack. This will give everyone the opportunity to stretch their legs, refill their water bottles, and contemplate the futility of existence.
5. Step 5: Repeat steps 2-4 ad infinitum. This will ensure that the meeting will never end, and will become a never-ending cycle of tedium and despair.

But wait, there's more!

For an added twist, try our special bonus technique:

1. Technique 3.5: The Meeting That Never Ends (But Now With More PowerPoint)
2. Step 1: Create a 500-slide PowerPoint presentation. This will give everyone a chance to fall asleep, and will ensure that the meeting will never end.
3. Step 2: Read the presentation out loud, in a monotone voice. This will guarantee that everyone will zone out, and will become trapped in a never-ending cycle of boredom.

Don't try this at home, folks! (Or do, we really don't care.)