Our team's annual report is a document of great import. It's a study in contrasts, a balance of successes and failures, and a testament to our unwavering dedication to slightly better regret.

Highlights of the year include:

• We managed to slightly delay our project by 6 months, setting a new record for the company!
• We implemented a new system that reduced our productivity by 3.7% (a mere 0.1% increase in meetings, though).
• We successfully increased our coffee-to-employee ratio to 3:1, setting a new standard for the industry!

Lowlights of the year include:

• We had to rebrand our company for the 5th time in 10 years, because who needs consistency, anyway?
• We spent 2 weeks arguing over the best way to organize the break room fridge, because clearly, that's what matters.
• We had to lay off our entire team's favorite intern, because who needs experience and enthusiasm?

In conclusion, our team's annual report is a shining example of our commitment to slightly better regret. We hope you find it enlightening, if only in the sense that you're now aware of our existence.