Bob is in Trouble

Interim Measures

As per the company policy, we have been forced to take the following actions to address Bob's performance issues:

• Reduced access to the coffee machine, limited to one cup per hour
• Assigned to a new, non-existent project to "improve" the company's social media presence
• Required to wear a "I'm with stupid" sign on their desk for the next two weeks

Further measures may include, but are not limited to:

• Mandatory attendance at "Productivity and Time Management Seminars" every Tuesday
• Random drug tests

For more information, or to appeal the decision, visit the Appeal Form

Or, if you'd like to see Bob's performance reviews for the past year, go to the Annual Reviews