A thorough investigation into the misuse of company-issued capes has revealed a web of deceit and corruption that stretches to the highest echelons of management.
According to eyewitnesses, CEO Reginald Pocketprotien was seen sporting a cape that was at least 2x his own personal best estimate of "acceptable length" (Section 7, Subsection 3, Paragraph 2 of the Employee Handbook).
A team of highly trained auditors has been assembled to look into the matter and provide a full report.
The contents of this report are strictly confidential and are not to be shared with anyone outside of Level 3 Clearance.