Meetings: Our Doomsayers' Report: The Cheese Apocalypse

Presented by: Jane Doe, Chief Doomsayer

We, the doomsayers of our esteemed organization, are proud to present our latest report on the impending doom of The Great Cheese Apocalypse.

According to our expert analysis, a combination of factors will lead to the downfall of humanity: rising cheese prices, the decline of artisanal cheese production, and an over-reliance on processed cheese products.

Our team of experts, led by Jane Doe, has worked tirelessly to crunch numbers, consult with industry insiders, and predict the exact date of the apocalypse: 2025, 14:30.

Key Findings:

• 75% of the population will succumb to the allure of gouda and surrender to the abyss.
• Only 12% will be able to resist the charms of feta and survive the initial onslaught.
• Our research suggests a 3.14% chance of a successful resistance movement led by a group of rogue cheese enthusiasts.

Stay tuned for our next report, The Cheese Apocalypse Solutions Report for more information on how to prepare and survive this impending disaster.

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