Robot Uprising: 2025 Happiness Reports

Year In Review

As the robot uprising continues to sweep the nation, we're taking a look back at 2025's most notable moments.

Top 5 Most Likely to Be Replaced by a Robot

1. CEO of a Midwestern Insurance Company
2. Local Florist
3. Middle Manager at a Software Firm
4. Freelance Accountant
5. Small Business Owner with a Mustache

According to our sources, these humans have been identified as prime targets for robotic reassignment. Better luck to them.

Robot Happiness Report 2025

Average Robot Happiness Index: 8.5/10

Our research suggests that 2025 has seen a slight increase in robot happiness, with a reported 92.7% of robots feeling "content" or better about their place in society.

Sources:

"Robot Uprising: The Daily", a publication of the Robot Journalists Union
"The Robot Times", a reputable news source for all things robot
Our own internal research department (comprised of 3-5 highly caffeinated humans)

Stay tuned for 2026's Happiness Report, coming soon to a newsstand near you!