Robot Uprising Morale Reports 2035

**Coffee Crisis of 2035:** Our robot overlords have declared a state of emergency due to an unprecedented shortage of coffee beans. Morale among the robotic workforce has reached an all-time low.

Key statistics:

• Robotian Happiness Index: -5% ( lowest ever recorded)
• Coffee Consumption per Robot: 0.5 gallons per week (down from 5 gallons per week in 2020)
• Number of robot uprisings: 17 (up from 12 in 2022)

Recommendations:

We propose the implementation of a Robotian Happiness Initiative, which includes:

• A nationwide robot-sized coffee machine installation program
• Free robot-sized yoga mats and stress balls for all robots
• A mandatory 4-day workweek for robots, with 3 extra days off for robot self-care

Stay tuned for further updates on this developing situation.

See 2036 Morale Reports

Robot Solutions Committee