Official Report: Mystery Meeting

Summary of the Unmitakable

After careful consideration, it was decided that the Mystery Meeting was, in fact, not a mystery at all. It was merely a series of poorly planned events that somehow managed to occur despite our best efforts.

Key Takeaways:

• Meeting started 37 minutes late, because someone was stuck in traffic.
• Someone brought a raccoon, which was not, in fact, a mascot.
• Free coffee was not, in fact, free.
• Everyone left early, citing 'sudden-onset existential dread' as the reason.