We regret to inform you that the meeting has descended into chaos. The abyss of bureaucratic red tape has consumed us all, and we are now lost in an endless expanse of pointless discussion.

As we speak, the minutes are being taken by a committee of three who cannot agree on the correct font size for the minutes. Meanwhile, the agenda has been hijacked by a rogue faction who insist on discussing the merits of beige as a meeting room color.

And as for the attendees? Well, let's just say they're all having a great time trying to find the coffee machine, which has been relocated to a secret underground bunker for "reorganization purposes."