Sufferers' Meeting Etiquette Guide

Warning: Meetings of Sufferers are known to be hazardous to your social life and productivity. Prolonged exposure can lead to permanent damage.

Before attending a Meeting of Sufferers, ensure you have:

• A strong stomach for existential dread
• A tolerance for small talk and awkward silences
• Earplugs to block out the sound of someone's cat's 3 AM crying fit

Upon entering a Meeting of Sufferers:

• Stand on one leg and recite the Meeting of Sufferers' Pledge: "I, [Your Name], vow to endure the collective suffering of this group for the sake of 'synergy' and 'cross-functional teams'"
• Take a deep breath and prepare for the inevitable descent into chaos
• Make eye contact with your suffering colleagues; it'll only make it worse

During the Meeting of Sufferers:

• Acknowledge and agree with everything said, even if it's utter nonsense
• Use the phrase "That's a great idea, Bob" at least 5 times per hour
• Take notes, even if you're not sure what you're writing about

Subpages:

Advanced Meeting of Sufferers Etiquette for the experienced sufferer

Emergency Meeting of Sufferers Protocol for when things go sideways

Post-Meeting of Sufferers Therapy to cope with the trauma