Article 2: The Art of Not Listening

Section 1: The Sufferer's Guide to Active Ignorance

When dealing with meeting attendees who refuse to listen, follow these steps:

• Stare intensely at a point on the wall behind them.
• Tap your pen on the table to create a distracting scratching sound.
• Repeat your own points back to them as if they were your own.

Section 2: Advanced Techniques

For the more... persistent sufferer:

• Hold up a "hold up" sign made from your notebook paper.
• Whisper "I'm not listening" to the sufferer while making a "who, me?" face.
• Use the ancient art of "selective hearing" - tune in to your own thoughts, tune out theirs.

Section 3: Defending Against Counter-Attack

When the sufferer attempts to turn the tables:

• Claim to have a "meeting in 5" and abruptly leave.
• Call in a fake "emergency meeting" to disrupt their flow.
• Invoke the "I'm a sufferer" defense: claim you are, in fact, a human sufferer.

For more advanced sufferer defense techniques, see Article 3: The Ultimate Sufferer Counter-Attack.

Back to Manifesto

Back to Protocol Home