MEETINGS SUFFERERS PROTOCOL DEFENSE MANIFESTO

By Order of the Suffering Meetings Council (SMC) and the Unrelenting Sufferers Union (USU): a declaration of the unalienable rights of Meetings Sufferers.

Article 1: The Right to a 30-Minute Warning

All Meetings Sufferers shall be granted a minimum of 30 minutes warning before any meeting commences, to account for their inevitable caffeine-fueled existential crisis.

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Article 2: The Right to a Snack Budget

All Meetings Sufferers shall be provided with a minimum of 3 free snacks per meeting, to satiate their ravenous hunger and maintain their focus.

Article 3: The Right to a Meeting-Free Zone

Every Meeting Sufferer shall have the right to a meeting-free zone, where they can retreat from the conference room without fear of reprisal or judgment.

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