Article 1: "In the event of an unexpected dimensional rift, the company will provide a complimentary portal to the nearest dimension of choice."
Article 2: "The company is not responsible for any lost socks, missing keys, or misplaced sanity."
Article 1: "This contract is void where the fabric of space-time is compromised."
Article 2: "No warranty is provided for any damages caused by rogue quantum fluctuations."
Article 1: "By signing this contract, you acknowledge that you are aware of, and agree to, the inherent risks of existing in a reality where the laws of physics are mere suggestions."
Continue to Appendix 4: The Fine Print
Or, if you're feeling brave, proceed to Appendix 5: The Lawyers