Our Story:

We are the Void Strategists, a group of highly trained professionals in the field of doing absolutely nothing. Our team of experts has spent years perfecting the art of sitting in a room, staring at the wall, and thinking about how much we don't want to do anything.

We have developed a unique methodology that involves:

• Staring at a wall for exactly 4 hours and 22 minutes
• Twirling our mustaches in a clockwise direction for a minimum of 17 times
• Eating exactly 3.5 pounds of stale crackers while pondering the meaning of life

We have successfully applied our techniques to numerous real-world projects, including:

• Developing a comprehensive plan to avoid doing laundry for 27 days
• Creating a 300-page document detailing the best ways to procrastinate on a project
• Conducting an in-depth study on the optimal number of hours to spend playing video games before feeling guilty

Our clients rave about our work:

• "I was able to do absolutely nothing for an entire weekend thanks to Void Strategists!" - John D., CEO of Procrastination Inc.
• "They helped me develop a plan to avoid my in-laws for 6 whole months. It was amazing!" - Jane S., Void Strategist Client

We are proud of our accomplishments and look forward to continuing to serve as a beacon of productivity avoidance in a world that increasingly values busyness and achievement.

Want to learn more about our methods and join the ranks of the Void Strategists? Read on.

Or, if you'd rather not, compare us to our competitors.