Resolution 1: Drink one extra cup of coffee every morning to compensate for the existential dread of being alive.
Resolution 2: Only wear matching socks on Sundays to confuse the universe.
Resolution 3: Never trust a robot that doesn't understand the concept of 'sassy.'
Resolution 4: Develop a system for classifying all foods as 'edible' or 'not edible' based solely on their aesthetic appeal.