From: Management
To: The Entire Company
We, in our infinite wisdom, have deemed it necessary to create this memo.
The purpose of this document is to remind everyone that the coffee machine is not, in fact, sentient.
Contrary to popular opinion, it is not plotting against us.
It simply requires regular descaling, which is not the same as desecration.
Please, for the love of all things caffeinated, stop talking to it.
Confidentiality Notice: This memo will self-destruct in 24 hours. Do not attempt to copy or forward. Do not attempt to make a copy machine out of the coffee machine. That's just crazy.
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