Bertand the Baffled, renowned expert in the field of inconveniently complicated problem-solving, has finally cracked the code to the mysterious Method of the Ancients.
Using his trusty Baffled-O-Matic, Bertand has streamlined the process to a mere 17 steps.
But, as he's often heard, the devil is in the details.
Read on to learn more about the intricacies of the Method and the perils of underestimating its power.
1. Gather 12 identical, black, rectangular pieces of paper.
2. Draw a crude diagram of the desired outcome.
3. Assign each paper a unique, arbitrary letter.
4. Create a flowchart of possible outcomes.
5. Realize that this is a futile exercise in futility.
6. Consult 3 expert advisors, all of whom will contradict each other.
7. Create a 300-page document detailing the theoretical underpinnings.
8. Conduct a series of 5 focus groups with random strangers.
9. Develop a 10-point plan to mitigate potential risks.
10. Get lost in a never-ending loop of recursive calculations.
11. Stumble upon a hidden, ancient text that hints at a 3rd solution.
12. Revisit the flowchart and make 37 adjustments.
13. Realize that the 3rd solution is actually just a rebranding of the first 2.
14. Develop a new, more complicated algorithm.
15. Apply the new algorithm and achieve a 1% improvement.
16. Celebrate with a 5-course meal of plain toast.
17. Declare victory and move on to the next challenge.