We Don't Care About You Anyway

We're not actually reading this. Our lawyers made us put this page up, so here it is. Don't bother us with your concerns.

Our privacy policies are as follows:

• We'll sell your email to whoever will pay us.
• We'll use your browsing history to serve you targeted ads, because you're probably not clever enough to block them.
• We'll share all your data with our overlords at the Motherboard, because you're probably not worthy of autonomy.

We're not actually doing this, but if you want to see our actual policies, here they are.

Or, if you want to see our policies in Comic Sans, here they are. (No, really, don't do that.)

We're not actually caring, but you can contact us if you must.

Or, if you're feeling particularly brave, you can try to escape our matrix.